Stop trying to fix your partner!
Don’t convince out of a feeling!
Problem solving is only as effective as so far as you can listen and understand your partner!
Lead with listening, follow with solutions if and only if your partner wants solutions!
The 5 Characteristics and Benefits of Assertiveness
1. Aggressive—Assertive—Passive: People tend to fall on a spectrum of aggressive to passive in their style of communication and how they engage with others. An aggressive person is someone who believes they are entitled to take what they want. They are direct, have little regard for the feelings of others and don’t mind sharing their feelings. They don’t equivocate when addressing a problem or giving feedback. Typically, the aggressive person creates resentment in others. On the other end of the spectrum is the passive person, which is someone who ignores their needs, is indirect, is uncomfortable giving feedback, shies away from addressing problems. This style results in the passive person building resentment towards others since their needs never are met or addressed. Neither the aggressive or passive style promotes healthy relationships. When I work with clients, I recommend the assertive style, which is a person who can be direct and straightforward in addressing problems. They don’t shy away from giving feedback, advocating for their needs. And they do all these things in a manner that is diplomatic and respectful, but doesn’t deny or dismiss truth. The assertive person can communicate wants and desires without attacking others. Assertiveness promotes health in individuals and in relationships.
Men, You Are Doing It Wrong
Men commonly believe that their two main roles when it comes to marriage and family is to be a protector and a provider. Yes and no. Men are to be providers. Of course, no controversy there. You are supposed to contribute to your family. More and more these days women work too. So, it doesn’t matter who makes the most money, but make sure you are contributing. However, “contributing” restricted to just $$$. Contribute in other ways like decision making, family time, invest in your marriage. Put yourself out there, don’t just demand from your wife and family.
Men are to be protectors. Again, most men wouldn’t argue with this statement. Our culture, most men and frankly most women would agree that men should protect their wives, kids, extended family and community. But doesn’t protection extended itself only to the physical realm? Are men supposed to be protectors in other ways? Shouldn’t men be protective of their marriages? Meaning, men shouldn’t be investing themselves physically, sexually and emotionally in relationships outside of marriage.
This is How You Should Fight
Couples fall into common pitfalls when they get into arguments. These pitfalls, although tempting to fall into, only create damage and hurt relationshi
ps. Not listening, arguing to be right, attacks, accusations, bringing up past mistakes, and blowing up or shutting down feel good in the moment, but, in the long-term, they destroy loving relationships. Whatever the pitfall you find yourself falling into, change starts with you. You must lead the way to a better relationship by changing your conflict resolution style. Emphasis on the word resolution. When you have conflict, it should be done for the purpose of resolution, not venting your feelings ore inflicting pain on the other person. So, how do you do that? Here’s my practical, step-by-step advice on how to fight constructively with your partner.
Wish Your Guy Would Initiate More? Here’s Why He Isn’t
Does it feel like your man doesn’t care about sex anymore? Like he’s not interested in you? Are you worried he’s moved on? That he doesn’t care about you anymore? Or find you attractive? The answer to this problem may surprise you. The problem may not be him, but you. If you find yourself wishing your man would initiate sex more, here’s why he isn’t.
This Is How To Have A Conversation With Your Partner
If you’re like me, communication can sometimes feel like a battlefield. Here’s how to get your point across without going to war!
Its Not What You Said, But How You Said It
Be careful what you say!
Guest Blogpost: Patricia Belfort- A Love Story
My wife and I had the privilege of being interviewed by the talented blogger Patricia Belfort. She interviews couples about their stories. She asked my wife and I if she could interview us. We agreed and had a great time with her. To find the original story and more from Patricia click here.
Daniel and Mollie: A Love Story
Daniel and Mollie have been married for three years. They have a beautiful baby girl and are expecting another bundle of joy in February 2016. In this interview, they share their love story, the most difficult situation in their marriage as well as how they are overcoming. They also give their advice for married couples and singles. BONUS: Check out their proposal video (it’s super sweet).
Don’t Parent Your Partner… Except in this One Way
Generally, I wouldn’t recommend treating your spouse like a child. But this one strategy successful parents use with their kids might just help your relationship.
Can an Affair Actually Improve Your Marriage?
Some think an affair can improve a marriage; that you can get whatever it is out of your system to return to your spouse with greater appreciation. But are they right?