My wife and I had the privilege of being interviewed by the talented blogger Patricia Belfort. She interviews couples about their stories. She asked my wife and I if she could interview us. We agreed and had a great time with her. To find the original story and more from Patricia click here.
Daniel and Mollie have been married for three years. They have a beautiful baby girl and are expecting another bundle of joy in February 2016. In this interview, they share their love story, the most difficult situation in their marriage as well as how they are overcoming. They also give their advice for married couples and singles. BONUS: Check out their proposal video (it’s super sweet).
How Did You Meet?
Daniel: She was out in the Pacific Northwest. I was at a wedding and she was someone’s plus one. My friend saw Mollie and her friend and dared me to go talk to her. I was like, “done”. So I made my way over to them but someone came in between us and she was further along on the food line. So I get to the cheese platter and say really loudly, “HAS ANYONE TRIED THE GOUDA? I HEARD IT WAS REALLY GOUD-A.” I heard her say, “I’m really glad someone made that joke.”
Daniel: During the dancing portion of the party, I danced over to her (he does a little shimmy as the talks)
and said, “So I heard you like cheese.” So we just started from there. We were in a long distance relationship for 8 months, just keeping in contact through phone calls and Skype.
Who Said, “I Love You” First?
Mollie: Well, that’s debatable. On one of our visits, as I was about to get on the tarmac and board the plane, I turned around and started to say, “I think I’m falling in love with you.” But before I could finish, he cuts me off and says, “OH MY GOSH, I love you too!” (She laughs)
Daniel: Yeah, so I think that means I said it first.
Mollie: Right, because I was going to say I thought I was ‘falling in love’ with you which is different from ‘I love you’.
How Did You Know You Had Found ‘The One’?
Mollie: I think for me, it was just so easy. We were similar in so many ways. He had the same faith, similar goals, and we both wanted a family. It was all the things that I wanted. Plus we had a long distance relationship so we really got to know each other through conversation without being distracted with activities and physical intimacy.
Daniel: It wasn’t any of those things for me; I just thought she was gorgeous. No, but seriously, like she said, as we started talking, I realized that I had relationships with other girls but none where I really wanted to pursue them. But with Mollie, I knew I just had to have her. She’s intelligent, caring, and beautiful. All the things I wanted in a wife.
What is the Most Challenging Thing You’ve Experienced in Your Marriage?
Mollie: Finances. First of all, I brought a lot of debt from student loans into the marriage. So we had to learn how to share resources. I think we have come a long way but it will always be a struggle.
Daniel: Money is stressful and paying bills is stressful so putting those together and making it work with two human beings is just hard.
Mollie: I think for me also, there was a lot of guilt around having brought in so much debt but he has been good about it. He’s always like, “It is what it is, and we’ll deal with it.”
How Are You Learning to Work Together Through It?
Mollie: We definitely had to get better at compromise. Dan is the more frugal one and that’s not my area of strength. If Dan had his way, we’d be doing all our shopping including grocery shopping at the dollar store but if I had my way all the time, we’d have spent our way into bankruptcy by now. So, it’s been about balance.
Daniel: Right. We’ve had to try to meet in the middle. I realize that there is a time to be spontaneous and go on trips and have fun but you also can’t be about that all the time. Both are important.
Mollie: Another good thing we have done is getting a financial advisor. I joke and say she is the third spouse in this marriage. She handles the money decisions.
Have You Ever Wanted to Call it Quits?
Daniel: No, I don’t think we’ve ever considered it seriously. Sure, after a fight, I don’t want to be near her but my commitment to her is there. I always remind myself that she’s going to be my partner for the rest of my life so I better just try to make it the best marriage possible. I think it also has to do with our faith. We believe that the purpose of marriage is to make us better not necessarily to make us happy.
Mollie: Right, because we’ve made each other unhappy a lot.
Daniel: Yeah, a whole lot.
Mollie: Well, I wouldn’t say a WHOLE lot. (Laughing)
Daniel: You know what I mean. When we are getting on each other’s nerves, it’s good to remember that it’s a growing opportunity. It’s a chance to either deal with my own weakness or to forgive her for hers.
Mollie: I think because I left my home, my job, and my family and friends to move out here and be with him, sometimes I second guess whether I made the right decision. In those times, it never has to do with him; just about me missing everything I left behind. But at the end of the day, it’s important to remember that marriage is forever. Daniel is my family just like my mother or my brother. I wouldn’t sever my connection with them so I can’t end my relationship with Dan. He’s my family.
What Has Been Your Favorite Moment Together?
Mollie: I think our wedding day or when our baby was born. Now that we have a baby, there is like this third person bonding us together forever. Not that labor was fun (laughing) but it was a cool experience.
Daniel: When I think of my favorite moments, I don’t really think of the big moments. Sure, those were great but when I daydream about her, I think of times like when we took a hike and got to the top. She looked so beautiful and I gave her a kiss. Those little moments are my favorite.
Any Advice for Marrieds or Singles?
Daniel: Don’t just date people for the sake of it. I think people sometimes get caught up in dating someone to avoid loneliness but it isn’t worth it.
Mollie: I would say for married couples, the success of your marriage depends on you. I think there is a temptation to blame the spouse but we always have a choice to forgive and extend grace.
Daniel: I would say to assume the best. Mollie is really great at that; she’s the more positive one. But usually, when you assume the best, you get the best.
Mollie: Like if Daniel leaves the toilet seat up, I can assume he did it to spite me or I can assume that he was busy and forgot to put it down. I assume that he had the best intentions. It doesn’t mean the spouse is off the hook for everything but it cuts out a lot of drama. Life is too short to fight over silly things.