Men commonly believe that their two main roles when it comes to marriage and family is to be a protector and a provider. Yes and no. Men are to be providers. Of course, no controversy there. You are supposed to contribute to your family. More and more these days women work too. So, it doesn’t matter who makes the most money, but make sure you are contributing. However, “contributing” restricted to just $$$. Contribute in other ways like decision making, family time, invest in your marriage. Put yourself out there, don’t just demand from your wife and family.

Men are to be protectors. Again, most men wouldn’t argue with this statement. Our culture, most men and frankly most women would agree that men should protect their wives, kids, extended family and community. But doesn’t protection extended itself only to the physical realm? Are men supposed to be protectors in other ways? Shouldn’t men be protective of their marriages? Meaning, men shouldn’t be investing themselves physically, sexually and emotionally in relationships outside of marriage.

……. If you only protecting and providing, you are doing it wrong! There are more roles that you should fulfill as a man.

Men are also to be partners. Being a partner is a role men often neglect. Men think– if they are providing for their family financially, and no one has died– they are doing their job. If there’s money to pay the bills, no more work is to be done on their part… wrong! You are also a partner. So, what is a partner? A partner is someone who journey’s through life, with another person, through good and bad. The operative word here is with. So, what are some things you do with a partner? You communicate. You share experiences. You problem solve. You work towards a common set of goals. You are honest. These are things that honor the partnership you have with your wife and family.

Men are also to be pursuers. Even if you have been married for years and years, women want to feel like they are your object of pursuit. They want to feel wanted. No Duh! Pursuing is not just for dating relationships. Women want to know that you are thinking about them. They want to feel like you want them- sexually, emotionally, intimately, and daily. They want to see passion and hunger from you for them. So don’t be lazy and coast. Date your wife till the day you die. Also, pursue your kids. Your kids want to feel like you support their dreams, that the time you spend with them is valuable, and that invest in their interests.

Men are to be providers, protectors, partners and pursuers. These are the four roles that make a man a man.