Stop trying to fix your partner!
Don’t convince out of a feeling!
Problem solving is only as effective as so far as you can listen and understand your partner!
Lead with listening, follow with solutions if and only if your partner wants solutions!
The 5 Characteristics and Benefits of Assertiveness
1. Aggressive—Assertive—Passive: People tend to fall on a spectrum of aggressive to passive in their style of communication and how they engage with others. An aggressive person is someone who believes they are entitled to take what they want. They are direct, have little regard for the feelings of others and don’t mind sharing their feelings. They don’t equivocate when addressing a problem or giving feedback. Typically, the aggressive person creates resentment in others. On the other end of the spectrum is the passive person, which is someone who ignores their needs, is indirect, is uncomfortable giving feedback, shies away from addressing problems. This style results in the passive person building resentment towards others since their needs never are met or addressed. Neither the aggressive or passive style promotes healthy relationships. When I work with clients, I recommend the assertive style, which is a person who can be direct and straightforward in addressing problems. They don’t shy away from giving feedback, advocating for their needs. And they do all these things in a manner that is diplomatic and respectful, but doesn’t deny or dismiss truth. The assertive person can communicate wants and desires without attacking others. Assertiveness promotes health in individuals and in relationships.
9 Rules of Fair Fighting
No Shot Gunning: Shot Gunning is when you throw several objections, complaints or grievances at the other person, all at once. This simply is too much to respond to and isn’t fair. Pick one thing to talk about.
Cheap Shots: This is when you address a problem or give feedback to another person laced with critiques, personal attacks and button pushing. It’s not fair to mock and deride someone while trying to address a serious issue. It knocks them back on their feet and doesn’t lead to a positive resolution.
This Is How To Have A Conversation With Your Partner
If you’re like me, communication can sometimes feel like a battlefield. Here’s how to get your point across without going to war!
Its Not What You Said, But How You Said It
Be careful what you say!
The Reason Your Marriage Will Last One Year
This article was originally published on FamilyShare.com and can be found here.
Do you have what it takes to make it for 365 days?
Let’s face it. Your chances of staying married aren’t good. Sorry for sounding bleak. First-time marriages have a 41 percent chance of ending end in divorce — and it only gets worse for second-time marriages (60 percent) and third-time marriages (73 percent). That’s one divorce every 36 seconds; 100 divorces every hour; 2,400 divorces per day; 16,800 divorces per week; 876,000 divorces per year … I told you this was going to sound bleak.