Stop trying to fix your partner!
Don’t convince out of a feeling!
Problem solving is only as effective as so far as you can listen and understand your partner!
Lead with listening, follow with solutions if and only if your partner wants solutions!
This is How You Should Fight
Couples fall into common pitfalls when they get into arguments. These pitfalls, although tempting to fall into, only create damage and hurt relationshi
ps. Not listening, arguing to be right, attacks, accusations, bringing up past mistakes, and blowing up or shutting down feel good in the moment, but, in the long-term, they destroy loving relationships. Whatever the pitfall you find yourself falling into, change starts with you. You must lead the way to a better relationship by changing your conflict resolution style. Emphasis on the word resolution. When you have conflict, it should be done for the purpose of resolution, not venting your feelings ore inflicting pain on the other person. So, how do you do that? Here’s my practical, step-by-step advice on how to fight constructively with your partner.
What Should a White Christian Do with White Privilege and Racial Inequality?
There is much talk of “White Privilege”, “Male Privilege”, “Heterosexual Privilege” or Racial Inequality these days. And the response I usually hear is one of outright denial before the idea is even considered. If you are one of these people I have a few questions before getting into the bulk of this blog. What if it was real? What if there really was a “privilege” granted to someone purely based on their skin color or sex? What if opportunities weren’t being fairly given based on race? And more importantly, why are you so quick to reject the idea? Furthermore, if you are a Christian, I think you have an added responsibility to investigate such claims since there is a clear warrant in Scripture for the righteous to stand up for social justice.
There and Back Again: My Journey with Empathy
This month marks my fourth year of practicing counseling professionally, specifically family therapy. As I reflect on the last four years, one aspect of myself that has changes comes to mind. That is my relationship with empathy. But before I go on, it might be helpful if I first explain what empathy is.