I’m a therapist who has worked with women, children, even abusers, in domestic violence and abuse (DVA) situations. These are never easy families to work with. Often I walk away from sessions feeling hopeless, and scared for the victims’ safety — but not for the reason that you think.
Let’s face it. Your chances of staying married aren’t good. Sorry for sounding bleak. First-time marriages have a 41 percent chance of ending end in divorce — and it only gets worse for second-time marriages (60 percent) and third-time marriages (73 percent). That’s one divorce every 36 seconds; 100 divorces every hour; 2,400 divorces per day; 16,800 divorces per week; 876,000 divorces per year … I told you this was going to sound bleak.
The other week I was texting back and forth with a client on whether he should do counseling or not. He didn’t see the need to do counseling, but he was willing to do it in order to prove to his wife that he didn’t have a problem. He asked if this was a good reason to do counseling. I explained in no uncertain terms that this was not a good reason to do counseling. He didn’t respond. I then said he would benefit from having his blind spots exposed which would help him avoid problematic traps he gets stuck into. Again, he didn’t respond.