Social anxiety is a lot like a monkey on your back. It’s a constantly distracting and disruptive presence that you can’t see. And it makes the very important things of connecting with others extremely challenging. So, if you like many others, struggle with social anxiety, read this blog. It will help! It you want to get the social anxiety monkey off your back it is imperative that you become aware of what you are feeling, why you are feeling that way, and how that feeling affects your behavior and your thinking. Below are steps how you can manage and even thrive in the face of social anxiety.

• Awareness: It is imperative that you become aware of what you are feeling, why you are feeling that way, and what triggers that feeling. What is it about social interaction that causes you anxiety? Are you better in big groups or one-on-one settings? When uncomfortable, how do you react to others? These are good “starter” questions to help you think more deeply about your social anxiety.
• Oz Behind the Curtain: Believe it or not, but most other people are probably feeling anxious too. You are not abnormal for feeling anxious. In social situations, many people feel the same way. It is normal to feel uncomfortable in social situations; you are not a freak and you are not alone.
• Attention: If others are consumed by their own anxiety just as you are, then their attention is far more absorbed by what they are doing. They are likely not making negative judgements about your attire or behavior. This is should take some weight off your shoulders.
• Faux Pas Recovery: Saying the wrong thing, being inarticulate, being a klutz, or acting awkward is not the unforgiveable sin in a social situation. You can recover from a social faux pas. It is your belief that faux pas are unforgiveable that is the problem. People act out faux pas all the time; it’s totally normal. Give yourself some grace, and allow yourself the opportunity to recover from a social misstep. People are far more forgiving than you imagine because we’ve all been there.
• Own It: If you are an awkward person who gets anxious in social settings, then own it. Embrace that that’s who you are. Stop running from it. Be your awkward, awesome self!
• Habit Building: Anxiety is not a death sentence. Change is possible. Everyday people are able to change emotional and behavioral patterns. There are effective coping strategies and skills to manage anxiety. Your situation is not hopeless, you just need skills.
• Don’t Drink That Hater-Ade: If you know someone who is comfortable in social situations, who doesn’t struggle with the anxiety you struggle with, don’t hate them. Be glad for them and then focus on what you need to do in order to improve.
• Start Small, Go Big: Challenge yourself to engage with your fears. Pick a small, risky social situation and use the meditation skills to manage the discomfort. Once you overcome your fears at that level of risk, then take on a riskier situation until you’ve become comfortable in most social settings.
• Don’t Give Up: Overcoming social discomfort can be hard. It can feel like two steps forward, three steps back. But don’t let this deter you. There’s a process that you must engage with and trust. “Trust the process” as they say. The process of trying new things, stumbling, getting back up and trying again leads to good things.
• Celebrate Your Victories: Don’t forget to celebrate your victories. It’s easy to develop a negative perspective. Take the high road, choose to give equal attention to the good and not just the bad. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small.

Overcoming social discomfort can be hard. It can feel like two steps forward, three steps back. But don’t let this deter you, don’t let the monkey on your back win. There’s a process that you must engage with and trust— “trust the process” as they say. The process of trying new things, stumbling, getting back up and trying again leads to good things. And, don’t forget to celebrate your victories. It’s easy to develop a negative perspective. Take the high road, choose to give equal attention to the good and not just the bad. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small.