Some parents think there is no alternative to shaming their kids in order to discipline, modify behavior and motivate them to change. However, shame is an ineffective discipline strategy at best. At worst, it causes developmental damage to your child, demotivates, and hurts your relationship with them. This is not just a statement based on my personal perspective. Many mental health professionals in the field of psychology agree that shaming a child only damages their development. Studies show that it is ineffective at changing bad behavior and motivating good behavior. And, in my clinical experience, I’ve seen shaming backfire in the face of many parents who use it as their parenting strategy. Shaming creates power struggles between parents and kids. Over time, kids rebel. Kids lose respect for their parent. And kids feel defeated. In short, shaming doesn’t work.
Men commonly believe that their two main roles when it comes to marriage and family is to be a protector and a provider. Yes and no. Men are to be providers. Of course, no controversy there. You are supposed to contribute to your family. More and more these days women work too. So, it doesn’t matter who makes the most money, but make sure you are contributing. However, “contributing” restricted to just $$$. Contribute in other ways like decision making, family time, invest in your marriage. Put yourself out there, don’t just demand from your wife and family.
Men are to be protectors. Again, most men wouldn’t argue with this statement. Our culture, most men and frankly most women would agree that men should protect their wives, kids, extended family and community. But doesn’t protection extended itself only to the physical realm? Are men supposed to be protectors in other ways? Shouldn’t men be protective of their marriages? Meaning, men shouldn’t be investing themselves physically, sexually and emotionally in relationships outside of marriage.